Travelog - A travel guide to Vietnam

Vietnamese codes of behaviour are based on Confucianism, with its strict social hierarchy, respect for authority and emphasis on conformity.

One of the hardest things to get used to is people saying yes or agreeing to something when really they mean no, or it won’t get done or there’s a major problem. This is in part a desire to please and in part a means of avoiding confrontation. The key is to expect nothing to happen as planned and build plenty of flexibility into your schedule. The other point of frustration is likely to be when dealing with the endless, all-powerful bureaucracy.

Even in the most trying of circumstances it’s important to remain patient and keep smiling. It’s very bad form to show anger in Vietnam and it won’t get you anywhere. It’s also impolite to criticise people openly. Better to try and work out some sort of acceptable solution. In tricky situations, handing round a few cigarettes to the men will often help.

Dress codes tend to be modest, particularly when visiting religious sites (avoid sleeveless tops and shorts) and for women at all times. It pays to look neat and tidy for any official meetings or functions. When introduced to people, the traditional form of greeting is to bring both hands together pointing upwards in front of your chest and bow. More Westernised Vietnamese, however, are likely to shake hands. The best policy is to wait and respond in kind.

It’s common practice to remove your shoes when entering people’s homes, Buddhist pagodas and Cao Dai temples. When visiting pagodas and temples it’s also good manners to leave a small amount of money on the altar or in the collecting box.

Don’t pat children on the head and don’t point at people. If you want them to beckon someone, hold your hand palm down and draw your fingers towards you several times. When sitting on the floor, try not to point your feet at other people or at religious symbols such as the family altar. Sit with your legs tucked up beside you rather than cross legged. Finally, as elsewhere in Asia, don’t stick your chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice; it’s is an allusion to death.